Keep Me Hanging On
by fififolle
Summary: Absurd but Shippy McKayWeir. Rodney is spending a lot of time with Miko, and Elizabeth is jealous... Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: I do not own these characters; this is written for fun or something, I make no money etc.

**A/N: **OK, time for some fun to cheer us all up! This comes under the "Absurd but Shippy" category, as defined by dahan. From a plot bunny put up for adoption in January! at McKay/Weir Central. Thanks Keenir. I realised it also has leanings towards some of the challenges over there, namely those by toasteronfire and weirfan. This is probably not what was expected by anyone though :D

**Summary:** McKay spends a lot of time with Miko, and Elizabeth is jealous. Absurdly shippy McKay/Weir.

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**Chapter One**

"Thanks, Elizabeth. I'll see what I can do. I have to go, because Miko's waiting, so, when I come up with something, I'll let you know, OK?"

Rodney McKay was closing his laptop, and getting up from the conference table. He didn't look at Elizabeth Weir, he just fussed around, preparing to leave. Finally, he was done, and left the room.

Elizabeth was left sitting alone.

'_Miko's waiting' - hmmph. What's she waiting for him to do that's so damn important? I know variable heat control in my quarters isn't exactly top priority, but there's no pending crisis. I'd have thought he could just get straight on it. I should've asked Radek… He would've done it straight away... Damn! Rodney is so unreadable._

0o0o0

Elizabeth walked into the lab, and stood at one side, watching Rodney disassemble some piece of Ancient technology. His arms worked effortlessly, and she focussed on his biceps, and then his hands.

When he looked up, she asked, "Rodney? Want to come and get some coffee with me?"

He raised one hand defensively. "No, thanks, Elizabeth. I've just had some. Miko fixed it for me." He gave her a huge grin.

_Oh that man is so infuriating. Is he smiling at me? Or because Miko fixed him coffee? And since when did Rodney turn down a trip to the Mess? Oh, no. Come on, Lizzie, you're being paranoid. Pull yourself together._

0o0o0

"Do you feel you have any training needs, Miko?" Elizabeth smiled graciously.

"Oh, no, Dr Weir. If I had, I would have put them on my performance review notes." Miko smiled, "Dr McKay provides me with all the training I need." she added.

Elizabeth gritted her teeth beneath her smile. "I'm sure he does." She pushed back her chair and stood up. "Thank you for coming, Miko. Let me know if there's ever anything you need from me."

_Like a cold shower. The way she fawns over him is unbelievable. Surely he doesn't find that attractive? There's no way. Surely. And what does she mean, he provides her with all the training she needs, huh? OK, OK, I know, that's paranoia again. Really, maybe I need help…_

0o0o0

"So, coming to movie night, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth started, "Sorry? Oh, right, movie night. Um… I'm not sure, John."

"Elizabeth? You OK…? You should come."

"Um… I'm fine. No, I don't think I will. Maybe I need an early night…"

"Yeah. That might be a good idea. Well, see you in the morning, yeah?"

"Yes, of course. Goodnight."

_I must have sounded like a right fool. Away with the fairies. It's just… Rodney's not going to movie night. No. He's working late. In the lab. With her. Did he have to say it was with her? It's not paranoia. He is up to something. With Miko. And I'm jealous as hell. Infuriating. Completely and utterly infuriating. I just… Maybe there isn't anything going on. Maybe I should talk to him. Tell him that I find him attra…_

_Oh…_

_Look. _

_Ventilation shaft._

_Oh…_

_Connects through to Lab 1…_

_Hmmm…_

_

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**A/N: **Uh, oh... what's she gonna do? Jealousy makes one do bizarre things... You can guess, can't you! Anyway, a few more short chapters and it'll all be over... Thanks for reading, especially if you've been patiently waiting for some McKay/Weir from me - hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wow! 13 reviews in less than 24 hours – it's a record for me! Thanks everyone for encouraging me and reading and reviewing. Gosh, I hope the rest of it lives up to expectation! It's going to be absurd… and shippy.

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**Chapter Two**

Before she knew what she was doing, Elizabeth had scrambled up the handholds on the wall, was peeling the cover from the ventilation shaft, and squeezing herself into the metal-lined duct.

Shuffling along on her elbows, her only thought was to take a quick peek into the lab, and confirm her non-suspicions before she went crazy with jealousy and infuriation at her feelings for the Chief Scientist.

A little breathless, and somewhat dusty (so that's where all the dust went…) she reached the grille that opened into the roof space of Lab 1. Not daring to breathe, Elizabeth carefully held the grille with the fingers of one hand, whilst she pushed it out with the other. As it fell out, she managed to keep hold of it to stop it from tumbling down into the room, and she released her breath with a puff of relief.

She carefully manoeuvred the grille to enable her to draw it back into the duct, and she tucked it to one side. Crawling a little further, she peered down into the lab.

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed as she spotted the pair of scientists. It was partly annoyance, as they were right on the other side of the space, and she certainly couldn't hear what they were saying. She felt she didn't have to hear, though… it seemed perfectly plain that they were standing very close to each other. Rodney and Miko. In the Lab. Alone. Well, apart from the Leader of Atlantis hanging out of a ventilation shaft…

She watched Rodney bend his head low. Miko was looking down… something wasn't quite… what were they doing? They must be both looking closely at something, perhaps he was holding it, or her.

_They're just too damned far away._

_Oh… _

_Look._

_Inspection catwalk._

_Oh…_

_No._

_Silly._

_

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_

**A/N: **Yes, Elizabeth. Very silly. Absurd, actually.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Gosh, I couldn't get into the site for a minute there. I thought I might be lynched. OK, grab some of SG Kawoosh's popcorn, and enjoy...not too many though, it's another short special!

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**Chapter Three**

Within a few seconds, Elizabeth had pulled herself out of the duct by the catwalk railing. She couldn't possibly have turned around in the duct. It was a little tricky, but she managed to pull her body out and climb onto the combination of mesh and rail that provided an overhead passage from one side of the lab to the other. Thankfully it was a reasonably sturdy affair, not too creaky, and she began to step cautiously towards the oblivious pair below.

There was a gentle hum from equipment in the room, for which Elizabeth was grateful as she reached a point not far from where Rodney and Miko were standing together. She was about three feet above their heads, and had to use all her will power to stop herself from grinding her teeth together as she heard the soft voices and happy sounds from below.

Laying down flat on the mesh, she leaned her head out over the edge of the walkway to get a closer look. Rodney was holding a small, rectangular device. The black box had a few buttons, and some lights. Miko was engrossed in what Rodney was saying in a low, excited tone, and she was nodding occasionally and making little affirmative noises.

Elizabeth didn't know whether to be glad that what they were up to seemed perfectly plausible, and not romantically related in any way, or furious with herself for continuing to feel jealous anyway.

The device Rodney was holding suddenly lit up, and emitted a loud piercing tone. Miko clapped, laughing, and Rodney let out a happy exclamation. Elizabeth, though, had been taken a little by surprise, and her upper body had slipped over the edge of the catwalk. She grabbed with her free arm at the railing above, but the other one wasn't able to find anything to hold onto. It was of little consequence anyway, as the piece of railing she had grabbed was part of the drop-down ladder allowing access to the catwalk from this end of the lab.

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**A/N: **Uh oh. This is going to be even more absurd - see you tomorrow! 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Early posting because I had a brilliant time at a Peatbog Faeries gig last night… men in kilts… bagpipes… saxophone… oh yes, happy day.

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**Chapter Four**

Rodney and Miko looked up, startled by the metallic clanking sound. They gasped with shock as they saw Elizabeth hanging next to them in a very ungainly fashion, her legs swinging wildly. She'd been dragged over the edge of the catwalk as the ladder had begun to rattle down, but it had only dropped a foot or so, until the first safety catch caught. The Leader of Atlantis was left dangling precariously, by one arm.

Rodney and Miko quickly exchanged glances, before gawping at the Leader of Atlantis again.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney asked tentatively.

"Get me down!" Elizabeth shrieked, her free arm flailing for a handhold.

Miko, looking quite shocked and worried, grabbed the maintenance pole and poked the safety catch to let the ladder finish its descent.

"NO! Wait!" shouted Rodney, but it was too late, and the ladder, and Elizabeth, came crashing to the ground.

Miko hurried forward. "Dr Weir, I am so sorry! I did not think. I just wanted to get you down. Are you all right?"

Elizabeth, sprawled in an untidy heap on the floor, slowly propped herself up by her elbows, with Rodney crouched closely by her side. "S'ok," she mumbled, "Thanks." She sat up, blinking in a slight daze.

"Elizabeth! What on earth… what were you _doing_ up there?" Rodney's confusion mingled with his concern, and he held her hand in his, then put his other hand around Elizabeth's waist firmly to help her up.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, ignoring the pulse of heat pounding through her body from his touch. "Nothing!"

Miko giggled.

Rodney glared at Miko, then turned back to Elizabeth. "Up there…? Nothing?"

Elizabeth gulped, "Well, I… uh…"

Miko giggled, "She was watching us!"

Rodney and Elizabeth both blushed furiously, and retorted simultaneously,  
"We weren't doing anything!"  
"I was not watching you!"

Miko clutched her sides, "Oh this is funny! I am sorry, Dr Weir, I should not be laughing!" She grabbed a stool from behind her, and eased herself down, her hand unsuccessfully stifling her laughter.

Rodney searched Elizabeth's face, shocked, "You weren't really…?"

Elizabeth thrust out her chin, smoothing out her indignation to a mild superiority, "I was just… it was perfectly…" but she was unable to find a plausible explanation. Her face crumpled in shame, and she threw her hands over her face, "Oh dear, what an idiot."

Miko blinked, and sighed, "I should have said something, Dr Weir, I am sorry. I knew you were getting a little… tense… about the amount of time I spend with Dr McKay. I see it every time you look at me, talk to me. I just did not believe you would truly think that anything was going on between us. Surely you know that Dr McKay would like to be much more than friends with you…?"

Rodney's mouth dropped open, and Elizabeth's fingers spread a little so she could peek through, but Miko hadn't finished.

"And besides, he may be a wonderful genius, but Dr McKay isn't my type." She giggled furiously for a moment, and then clapped her hand over her mouth. "Sorry," she added.

Rodney and Elizabeth looked at each other warily, and Miko decided it was time to leave.

"Please excuse me, Dr McKay, Dr Weir. I think I shall go. I am certain the two of you would like some time to talk." She slipped out of the lab.

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**A/N:** Hoist the mainsail! Unfurl the spinnaker! Arrrr, there be sailing to be done, me hearties! 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who persisted yesterday in order to send your review, even a PM! Or both! It was wonderful to know you like my fic so much, or whatever made you all do it LOL. Anyway, many thanks! It was much appreciated, and I hope you think it was worth it for this ending! 

All aboard the good ship "McKay/Weir? Are You Insane?" The forecast is reasonably calm, but if you have a particularly sensitive disposition, the Captain has a pack of Kwells, so just ask. We also have a dentist on board who says as long as you clean your teeth afterwards, there's hardly any risk of cavities. This is the final leg of the trip, enjoy!

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**Chapter Five**

Rodney looked up, and along the catwalk, spying the open duct. "You _never_." he said incredulously, "What were you _thinking_? You could have been hurt, got stuck…"

Elizabeth shrugged, "I wasn't really thinking at all. I knew you were here, with her… I just wanted to know… I didn't really think you… OK, I thought maybe you and she… oh, damn, I look the biggest fool in two galaxies." She wrapped her arms around herself, and turned away a little.

A smirk grew across Rodney's face, as he contemplated how she must feel about him to crawl eight-point-four metres in a ventilation duct, then spy on him from an inspection catwalk. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, "Hey. Come on. I'm flattered."

She twisted her head round, looking up at him cautiously. He smiled broadly at her, and she let a small smile grace her features as she glanced down.

She shut her eyes, "It was just… every time I thought about you and her… I was really, really, _jealous_. I didn't want you to spend you time with _her_, I wanted you to spend it with _me_."

Rodney put his hands on her upper arms, and peered at her, willing her to look up, "Elizabeth. I would like nothing better than to spend a whole bunch of time with you. I think you're beautiful, and smart, and you've got great teeth… OK, anyway, I really like you, a lot, and you don't need to go crawling through the ventilation shaft to see me."

She blinked up at him, feeling happy inside, "Really? You wouldn't rather…?"

"I love my work, Elizabeth, I can't deny it. And Miko is a _great_ scientist. But like she said, I'm not her type. But we work well together, you know that. She can really see where a problem lies."

"Hmmm. I think I see that now."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I see. Yes, I guess she saw this coming. Wish I had. I might have asked you on a date before you… well, anyway, um… are you sure you're OK? Do you need to see Carson, or…?"

"Just my pride dented, Rodney." She laughed lightly.

"Um… Can I…? How 'bout I kiss it better?"

She laughed again, "Yes, please! But… not here. Would you mind if I go get cleaned up first? And… we'll need to get someone to fix everything I wrecked here."

He grinned, "No problem. I'll get Zelenka to fix it all." Rodney reached out a hand, cupping her face lightly, using his thumb to wipe away a smudge of grime. "Come on, let me walk you."

Elizabeth put her hand over his and pressed it to her cheek, closing her eyes in a brief moment of relief. Opening her eyes and returning his smile, she pulled his hand away and entwined her arm with his. They headed towards her quarters.

"Rodney?"

"Yes?"

"Who exactly _is_ Miko's type?"

"I'm not sure you wanna know."

After a moments silence, Elizabeth said, "I'm good at surveillance you know."

Rodney snorted, "Yeah, I saw. I'll let you find out on your own then."

"But…I… hmmph… You, Rodney McKay, are infuriating sometimes."

"Thanks, 'Lizabeth. I think you're great too."

_**fin**_

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**A/N:** Let's slip away quietly and give them some privacy... Hope you enjoyed it! It's been a lot of fun, thank you all for reading and reviewing. A bit of shore leave, and then, who knows, more absurd and shippy journeys may be on their way…Should I say that? They'll say I'm teasing them again. Honestly, they're so impatient… And the funniest thing is, these plots are just _ridiculous_! tut.


End file.
